my thirteenth entry...

People must think one's marriage is some kind of raffle coupon which is only good for a certain period of time. Hello? I thought it was: "Till death do we part?" Nope, apparently not. Society has changed it into:

"Marriage with (indicate name here) will be valid for two years. Succeeding years will be anulled for future opportunities with other partners. Thank you. Signed: (your name here)."

Right...you must be intrigued to know why I suddenly pop out after several days and this is the first thing I talk about. My morning was greeted today by a news article of the annulment of Willie Revillame. Great! Not that I care much about the guy, but I pity his kid so much. Here's another one growing up in a broken home.

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Welcome to the ME, MYSELF, and I Generation, ladies and gentlemen. It is the generation marked by thinking of only oneself--what I need, what I want, and what should benefit me. Never mind the others who might be so severely affected by the decisions that I make in life. Never mind the friendships that I'd put on the line because of envy and pride. Forget what God wants. IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!

Or is it?

My kid brother Nuel reminded me of a scene from Clue, which is based from the very popular murder-mystery board game. In the movie, one of the suspects named Mrs. White was asked, "How many husbands have you had?" Mrs. White answered, "5." (Wow, a modern-day Samaritan woman at the well, isn't she?) Then, she said something that struck me so funny: "Husbands should be like Kleenex--soft, strong, and disposable." Disposable? Given that this movie is a murder-mystery, the word "disposable" obviously connoted that Mrs. White killed every single husband that she had. Talk about her regard for the importance of human life. It's no wonder then that, for the whole movie, she looked like she was dressed for a funeral. What's my point? Well, I doubt that most of us would go so far as to marry five spouses and then murder them one-by-one. The point I'm driving at is that God has given us so much already--our families, our friends, our talents, skills, and gifts--and when we think only about ourselves, it's like we've made his blessings for us "disposable." Bali wala rin ba yung mga bagay na binibigay ng Diyos sa atin? Baka iniisip natin na okay lang sayangin yung mga binigay Niya sa atin. Akala natin na madaling mabawi yung mga bagay na ganito, pero hindi e. Andaming mawawala sa atin kung puro tayo-tayo lang ang iniisip natin. Family should not be treated as something disposable. Nor friends. Nor our skills or talents. The Lord's given them to us. Let's not let them rot in our possession while we're in search of what we perceive as bigger and better things.

"It's all about me." It's amazing that every time I'd think that way, God would have enough patience not to drop some kind of meteorite on me and wipe me off the face of the earth. He'd have every right to. I'm going to admit it right now. I'm not the most humble person you'd meet. And if you'd have emotional x-ray glasses with you, you'd see that I easily get jealous or envious. I'll admit it. It's one of my biggest struggles in life. It's really just a good thing God's just been so gracious to me and has been reminding me gently (by gently, I mean not severely painful but there was pain nonetheless) that it's not about me. In truth, it never has been about me. It's always been about Him. That's what I'm here for, aren't I? To serve Him. To make people see His glory in my life. It's not about me, Lord. It's all about You.

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The Lord revealed something pretty interesting to me these past few days. It was when I was reflecting on the many different times that I badly wanted things, but I ended up not getting them. The thing is, these opportunities that I lost were all one-shot-deals. These were opportunities that will never come back again, and I did not deny my frustrations. The Lord knew my heart. And He told me: "It's not about what you want, but what you are destined for." Whoa! And it's true, I realized. Things that I never expected the Lord to bring out from my life just came out and I have definitely benefited from them. I wanted one thing...He ended up giving something else of more value. Thank you Lord! =)

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I am graduating. It's amazing how fast time flies. It was May 2003 when I flashed my EAF at the guard in southgate. I can still remember the clothes I was wearing then. Blue T-shirt, khaki pants, and rubber shoes. Haha! Gosh...I can't believe that time has really gone that fast. I entered DLSU with no knowledge whatsoever about teaching strategies, about foundations of education, about the inner and outer circles of linguistics, about Noam Chomsky, about parsing, etc. Now, I'm leaving the place with an overload of information, two terms of teaching experience, a thesis that speaks of God's goodness, and a whole bunch of friends who have just made my life great while in campus. Yes, college life was hard, but I won't deny that it was fun!