under the magnifying glass

watch me as i journey to another time and place...

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I'm saved by grace. I have nothing to boast except for the fact that I have the greatest Being on my side.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

then and now...

Judging by how frequently I update my blog, I don't anymore find it a mystery why my highest intelligence according to Howard Gardner's theory is "intrapersonal intelligence." It was Jaga and Micah who indirectly influenced my decision to get a blog...and now, I think I have more entries than both of them. This would mean that I'm either a blog-addict, that they're awfully too busy to blog, or a combination of both. Nevertheless, I guess when it comes to me expressing myself (especially in writing) concerning a certain issue or topic, I almost always have quite a lot to say...unless of course I have no schema of whatever it is that's being talked about.

As I write this, it is almost 4:00. In an hour's time, I will be going to church for our youth service. Ahh...youth. There was that time in my early teenage years when I enjoyed youth because of the really intense praise and worship time. Yes, the praise and worship was full of fire...the messages were great...but my friendship circle wasn't all that big. Hmm...wait. What friendship circle? I think I had more "acquaintances" than friends. Youth would have been the best time...except that I hardly had anyone to spend that time with...

Fast-forward to about six years later...I'm not one of the young ones anymore. Back then, there were always the big people to look up to. Now, I realize that I've already become one of those "big people". I've got a bunch of younger people calling me "kuya" now. I'm no ordinary face in the crowd anymore either. The Lord has called me to be a worship leader in the youth now, and so people definitely know me now by name and face. I've got people who come to me with camera phones in their hands saying, "Picture tayo!" And, best of all, I've got a great bunch of friends whom I can also call my second family.

The "then" of my life parallels the "now", it seems. The first half of my teenage years were years that I would hardly look back at, unless I had a good reason to. Life seemed bland. Friendships seemed to lose meaning. And I found myself alone most of the time. I don't mean literally. I wasn't alone in the sense that there was no one with me. But somehow...I just felt that there were just a few people with whom I would be willing to share things to. In other words, I felt that no one could understand me. College life changed all that, though. For the first time, I felt truly accepted for who I was and not just because of what I knew or what I could do. I learned to open up more. I learned to trust people and to earn their trust in return. Finally, the word friendship carried a meaning.
Friendship took a whole new level with the OWLS. Never had I experienced being accepted by others in the same way that they accepted me. Never. This is probably why I treasure my friendship with them so much. They are truly God's gift to me.



I am excited. So much has happened to me in the past few months and I feel that I'm being equipped by God for something even greater than what I already have. The jump from being back-up vocalist to being a worship leader in the youth is definitely a privilege that the Lord gave me, but I get this feeling that He just doesn't want me to settle for that. The words that Ate Liza told me during the praise and worship retreat ring in my ears: "I'm sure we're going to see more of you..." Hmm...


This week is going to be the methodology implementation of my thesis. May the Lord bless my and Lakan's efforts as we complete this requirement for graduation.
It's past 5pm...I'm going to church now...


Blogger cherished soul said...

i think you having more entries than jags and me is a combination of you being a blog addict and the two of us not having time to blog. i can speak for myself that even when i do find time to blog, i don't remember what i was to blog about in the first place.
but anyway, i just wanted to let you know that i really do treasure our friendship nins!(^_^) and i just pray that just as God strengthens this friendship, He will continue to mould you into the person He has planned you to be as well.
i know you're busy with thesis and stuff, so i pray that He be with you all throughout your thesis. (i know He will). God bless you nins! miss you!

12:03 PM  

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